LONDON — Prince Harry was always something different.
From the moment he first appeared in public, nestled in Princess Diana’s arms outside the London hospital where he was born in 1984, Harry was the red-headed lowlife who stuck his tongue out at photographers.
He grew into a rambunctious adolescent who was roundly criticized for wearing a Nazi uniform to a costume party, and then a young man who gave up the trappings of royal life and moved to Southern California with his American wife.
Despite all this, there was a sense that Harry was rebelling against an accident of birth that left him, in the harsh calculation of the House of Windsor, merely ‘the spare’. As the second son of the man who is now King Charles III, he was raised as a prince, but would not inherit the throne unless brother William was harmed.
Harry turns 40 on Sunday. That is the halfway point in many lives and offers the chance to reflect on the past or look ahead to what can still be achieved.
For the past four years, Harry has focused on the past and made millions of dollars by airing his grievances in a hugely successful memoir and a docuseries on Netflix. But he faces the likelihood that the regal charisma so crucial to his image will fade, says Sally Bedell Smith, author of “Charles: The Passions and Paradoxes of an Improbable Life.”
“He’s kind of at a crossroads,” Smith told The Associated Press. “And he seems to be struggling with how he wants to move forward.”
It hasn’t always been this way.
Six years ago, Harry and his wife were among the most popular members of the royal family, a glamorous young couple who reflected the multicultural face of modern Britain and were expected to revive the monarchy.
Their wedding on May 19, 2018, united a grandson of Queen Elizabeth II with the former Meghan Markle, a biracial American actress who starred for seven years in the American television drama “Suits.” George Clooney, Serena Williams and Elton John attended their wedding at Windsor Castle, after which the couple were formally known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
But the optimism quickly faded amid accusations that the British tabloid media and even members of the royal family treated Meghan unfairly due to racism.
By January 2020, the pressure of life in the gilded cage had become too much, and the couple announced they would be giving up their royal duties and moving to America, where they hoped to become “financially independent.” They signed lucrative deals with Netflix and Spotify when they settled in the wealthy enclave of Montecito, near Santa Barbara, California.
Since then, Harry has missed few opportunities to bare his soul, most famously in his memoirs, aptly titled ‘Spare’.
In the ghost-written book, Harry opened up about his grief over the death of Princess Diana, a fight with Prince William and his discomfort with living in the royal shadow of his older brother. From accounts of cocaine use and losing his virginity to raw family rifts, the book was full of damning accusations about the royal family.
One of the most venomous was Harry’s description of how some family members leaked unflattering information about other royals in exchange for positive coverage of themselves. The prince singled out his father’s second wife, Queen Camilla, and accused her of holding private conversations with the media as she tried to rehabilitate an image tarnished by her role in the breakdown of Charles’ marriage to Diana.
The accusations were so venomous that there is little chance of a return to public duty, Smith said.
“He criticized the royal family in such a powerful and damaging way. You can’t undo those things,” she said. “And you can’t undo things like Meghan in that Netflix series doing a fake curtsy. It’s such a humiliating gesture to the Queen.’
Harry, who agreed not to use the honorific title, or “His Royal Highness,” after relinquishing his royal duties, is now fifth in line to the British throne, behind his brother and William’s three children.
While he grew up in a palace and is said to inherit millions of pounds from a trust set up by his great-grandmother on his 40th birthday, applied developmental psychologist Deborah Heiser thinks Harry is in many ways just like the rest of us.
Like anyone turning 40, he’s probably learned a few lessons and has a good idea of who his real friends are, and that will help him map out the next phase of his life, says Heiser, who writes a blog entitled ‘The Right’. Side of 40” for Psychology Today.
“He showed very publicly what a lot of people went through,” Heiser said. “I mean, most people aren’t princes, but… they have all kinds of problems within their families. He’s not alone. That’s why he’s so recognizable.”
Of course, Harry’s story isn’t just about the drama within the House of Windsor.
If he wants to write a new chapter, Harry can build on his 10 years of service in the British Army. Before retiring as a captain in 2015, the prince earned his wings as a helicopter pilot, completed two tours of Afghanistan and shed the hard-partying reputation of his youth.
Harry also received accolades for setting up the Invictus Games in 2014, a Paralympic-style competition to inspire and assist in the rehabilitation of sick and injured servicemen and veterans.
Harry and Meghan made headlines this year with their two international trips to promote mental health and internet safety. While some in the British media criticized them for accepting royal treatment in Nigeria and Colombia, the couple said they were visiting at the invitation of local officials.
Harry has also made the fight against British tabloids a central mission in recent years, suing them over old allegations that they hacked his phone and spied on his private life. Harry’s anger at the tabloids, which he partly blames for his mother’s death and driving him to the US, led him to break family tradition and become the first royal to appear in court in more than a century had to testify, winning one trial with two more cases pending.
The prospects for reconciliation are unclear, although Harry rushed home to see his father after Charles’ cancer diagnosis. And in what could be seen as a preliminary olive branch, the paperback edition of ‘Spare’, scheduled for October, contains no additions – so nothing new to stir the pot.
But right now, Harry is clearly thinking about his family in California. He told the BBC about the importance of his two young children, Archie and Lilibet.
“Being a father is one of life’s greatest joys and has only made me more driven and committed to making this world a better place,” the prince said in a statement released by his spokesman.
